Posts Tagged ‘Doubt’

Invited to Rank?

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I never really gave it much thought.

Not serious thought anyway.

I don’t believe for a minute I would ever be invited to rank. Surely that is an honor reserved for the best and brightest on this planet. Unlike the clamoring masses at the base of IAMs pyramid, I do not see myself on par with whoever has already made it into this exclusive club. Since I do not see myself as one of them, I really haven’t given the possibility, any real thought. So yeah, I really did not let my mind go there. I mean, why would I?

 I recently turned 58. It took me 2 years and 8 months to reach Level 1.1. If there were only 3 Levels, with 3 sub levels, it would still take approx 27 years, before I would get though all the Citizen Member Initiate Levels!  In other words, I would be 78 years old. Hardly a probable option for a group who was rumored to have once said, they didn’t trust anyone over 30!

Be all that as it may,  a brother-friend recently asked me, what I would say to The Illuminati, if they were to ask me to join their ranks. Let me tell ya. I ignored him the first time he asked. But he asked again. And even though I did not answer him the second time either, it really got me thinking. I needed an answer to that question for myself. Just in case. Given that I have been pissy-pot-pie, spitting nails mad and considering a break-up with IAM for about 6 months at the time he asked,  it really kinda jerked me up short and caused me to do some SERIOUS soul searching. Could I be obediently “lifetime-loyal” to a group I have no full understanding of, and who’s ways have flat out pissed me off at times? I certainly have been loyal to lesser men. HA! Plus, I managed to remained loyal, even in anger, so MAYBE? I mean, I don’t know??!! These guys know EVERYTHING about me and I know ZIP about them! Talk about an uneven playing field. 

But we ain’t playin’.

And this is NO game, is it…?

The more I thought about, the more consequential this question became for me.

What would I do?

No really…

What will you do V?!

Since I do not anticipate being asked, I was finding it hard to even image. I had to sit with it for several days, before I came close to anything resembling an answer. It honestly took awhile to get my head in that game enough to visualize someone coming to my door with an invitation, or whatever they do. I am not sure if that is what they do, but a call would seem distant and surreal, so in my mind they would have to show their faces for me to believe it was real. I truly could not imagine any of that.

I grappled with bringing such an fantasy to life. So much so, I was reminded about how stagnant my line of thinking had become, prior to having met IAM. I literally had zero vision for my future at the time. If someone had said I had won $10,000 to plan the vacation of a lifetime, I would not have any idea what-so-ever where to go. I could not even dream about taking a luxurious vacation much less imagine myself as someone the mysterious, and merited Illuminati would find any value in.

However, I needed to know what I would choose in advance; just in case.

The first thing that occurred to me when considering the possibility was… Do I trust these faceless, unknown strangers enough, to sign an eternally binding oath of obedience? An oath I could never renounce.  A forever and ever AMEN, Oath?!!

Let’s face it, that trumps marital vows exponentially. Now I don’t know about you dear Beacons, but trust is a pivotal aspect of any relationship in my world. Signing a lifelong oath of loyalty, is akin to getting married only more binding, by far. Needless to say, there is no way I could take this question as lightly as I did my choices in marriage. I was really struggling to find a way to say YES to folks I know little to nothing about. At the time, a enthusiastic ‘yes’ would just not come in for a landing. Trust me when I say there is another draft of this article that has an entirely different ending, and it was written first.

It just doesn’t seem prudent to consider jumping into bed with people I do not know. And yet, there is a kind of ‘knowing’ I have with these guys which I cannot necessarily articulate. I ‘knew’ their voice the minute they called, so can I really say they are strangers to me? Not really. No. There is a familiarity I cannot explain, but exists none the less. There really was a knowing inside of me, to balance out the unknown, which at the end of the day actually provided the answer I sought. I went with my gut, because there isn’t enough data to go full on logical.

When I try to imagine who The Illuminati might be in real life, I think of those that are listed in the Billionaire Giving Pledge (see http://www.givingpledge.org) After all, mention of these remarkable humans come under the heading of “About Us” on IAMs official site. Surely there are those who have taken the pledge that are truly Illuminati? If you take the time to read their individual responses to Bill and Melinda Gate’s invitation to participate, you might get the same goosebumps as I do. These folks are FANTASTIC! Far more fabulous that I for sure. That level of giving definitely says Humanitarian, for sure!!

That is my measure.

THEM.

To be clear, it’s already my great pleasure to support The Illuminati as is. EVEN if I am not deemed fit to dine at their tables. I will enthusiastically serve them, regardless! I do not expect these brilliant humans, would care to dine with the likes of me. I know I am an acquired taste even if I am a ‘nobody’, in every sense of the word. I cannot imagine the elite of this planet needing anything from a mouthy, spiritually driven, emotive gal, such as myself. Plus I am not sure I am intelligent enough, although I do believe I possess the level of integrity the seek. Although I would add a considerable amount of color and perhaps a little comedy to the group -that you can be sure of!

But back to the question at hand, what would I actually say, if I was approached to join the ranks of the Lights most elite, intelligent, and philanthropic humans on the planet? Truthfully, I would likely CRY like a little girl first! Or be too flabbergasted to even speak. Once the initial shock wore off though, I would respond by saying I have a few questions first. Then I would probably need to sleep on it.

OMG!

I couldn’t sleep!!

I think I would just need some time with it, alone. This of course, is assuming they did not already anticipate my questions and/or concerns, and alleviate them from word go. Although I am completely content and fulfilled to be a Community Leader in their public outreach, it would absolutely be an honor to serve them more deeply, in anyway they need me to. For as long as they deem me worthy, to do so.

So, all that being said, and assuming of course, you guys are not the Archons…

My reply would be a diamond hard MAYBE IAM!

(Wink)

 

What would your answer be dear Beacons? I would LOVE to hear what you are thinking! Please be advised, your answers could end up in my next book~

Doubting V…

Posted: June 11, 2015 in Beliefs, Doubt, Grief
Tags: , ,

  We all have doubts…

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New Data/New Decisions  -V’s Motto

Am I heading the right direction? Did I say the right thing?  Am I doing the right thing? Do I believe the right thing? Am I really, a good person? Am I in the right relationship? Am I giving enough? Do I take too much? Do I listen, as well as I should? Do I talk too much? Am I following the right person? Am I being hyper-judgmental…I could go on & on & on…but I bet you get my drift!

Feeling uncertain seems to part of the human experience. It is unavoidable at some point, no matter how sure of yourself you are. While doubts left unchecked, can erode your convictions, double checking yourself can also strengthen your resolve.

Am I certain about this? Is the single most potent question, we can ever ask ourselves.

When I find myself on doubts door, I use the time to reaffirm what I know to be true, as well as review any erroneous thinking I might have developed.

Doubting invites self review. It nags at us until we are able to clarify our convictions. Doubt asks us to constantly self edit, against a world full of messages, that may indeed be lies.  It literally begs for the truth. And it is up to us to dig deep around & within for the answers we seek.

While it is easy to dismiss things that are not true about ourselves, it is much more difficult to dismiss long held erroneous belief systems.

Is this the right path towards the Light? Is this candidate lying?  Is this the right belief system?  Is this pastor telling me the truth? Is this Guru really trustworthy? Is this game rigged? Is this article real or satire?

If we find that our doubts are of a “Is This” nature…it is up to us to vet our beliefs. We must be willing to look around, read, research, ask others we trust for their wisdom and gather more data.

It is not healthy to blindly follow anyone or anything, no matter who speaks it, including me. We must be convinced, through critical thinking, logic & reason, as well as intuition.

As the new data pours in, we must be willing to make new decisions, so that we can turn the doubt into ‘knowing’. It is this knowing, that shuts doubt up…once and for all. It is how we turn our shifty beliefs, into a solid foundation of knowings.

So…When Doubt comes knocking, just let her in! She is there to illuminate. She is a Light that exposes all hidden truths, not just about ourselves, but the reality in which we live~

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“The deepest doubts, build the strongest faith” -ILLUMINATIAM

“Doubts are a sign of an intelligent & free thinking mind. They are an inescapable part of our “process””

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