I AM Forgiving~


I am not one to drudge up the past, unless I am still healing, and still need to vent the gases while I cure. For me, forgiveness is a process, not an instant ‘get out of jail free’ card. It takes time for me to digest and release, because part of my process is mining the gemstones out of all hellish experiences.

When someone hurts me deeply. It takes me a while to process the event. I need time to clear out the pain, and heal before I am really ready to let go of my feelings entirely. For me, forgiveness is about removing the emotional and/or traumatic debt off the books. It is a clean slate, the ultimate “do-over”. It is a chance to start fresh and move on without regret.

Forgiveness in my world means the injury or offense has been erased and eradicated, as if it never occurred to begin with. Which is why it takes me so long to get there. Unlike others who do not fundamentally understand the nature of true forgiveness, I actually seek to forget what has happened -thus liberating us both.

I understand that IN EXTREME CASES, it is difficult to forget who has harmed you. However, if it is something closer to home, with someone you want to continue to have a relationship with, “remembering” can lead to throwing it up in their face. Which actually happens far too often & demonstrates no forgiveness has truly occurred.

 Sometimes I don’t bounce back as quickly as I would like to. 

But I always bounce back…


That being said, I do not (nor can I) forgive anyone during an active attack. In order for me to begin the process of forgiving, I must distance myself from that which is causing me harm. I must disengage in order to restore, and relinquish the pain someones behavior is causing me. I call it banishing folks from my Kingdom. And I often do so without warning, or explanation. Like it or not, it is how I chose to regroup. Regardless of how it appears, it is never a retreat.

It is also worth noting, that those who injure me for sport, will eventually receive my forgiveness also. However, they will never again bask in my uniquely brilliant, and unforgettable Light~

How do you forgive? I would love to hear about your process too!




  1. Sometimes back I would hate the person and even planned and took revenge,but mostly,I got healed and forgave for forgivenes was cheaper than hatred and revenge.
    Nowadays,I know its by design,I try as much as possible to remain positive,I take the lessons then healing and forgivenes comes alone.

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  2. Personally I forgive those who admit the fact that they offended me, I don’t forgive them on the spot either; I always make that decision when I’m happy and wait when I’m abit sad so that I may think of how to make sure that they don’t get any other opportunity of hurting me again. Both, happy and sad moments helps me in making a wise decision that won’t lead to either direct or indirect revenge. Above all, I don’t trust them again. To those who fails to admit that they did hurt me, I just assume that they don’t even exist and I’ve never met them.

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    • I would say I’m a lot like you in that way. But I’ve been married before and it isn’t always easy to just banish them from your kingdom. It is the same with members of your family.
      You bring up a great point about trust, learning to trust somebody again after a breach is extremely difficult, but it is doable. Most of which hinges on remorse & repentance for me. They absolutely need to admit it. I agree!
      There are so many things that factor into forgiveness, and I’m really glad you brought this one up!

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      • It also depends on how severe is the offence. I consider petty offences as stupidity and poor decision making that of course I can guide the person and urge him/her to change. Serious offenses are those that are repeated more often deliberately.

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  3. Sometimes it difficult to forgive due to pain caused by enemies but our ability of applying wisdom in decision making helps us to forgive after a long thought

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  4. Me personally, if I get negative actions or words from another, I expect nothing more from an individual. As for being forgiving, it depends. If the negativity is directed towards me I do get hurt or damaged, and I quietly ask myself if it is true if I am this or that, but. I will never feel the same for as I did before. I do however interact with said person, I am used to not being a favorite or chosen friend for something, so I do not set expectations.


  5. I am all about forward motion. I forgive. But I do so for my own health. Ager and resentment can eat you up like a cancer.

    IMO, forgiveness is far from forgetting. I feel that one should forgive enough to heal, but not enough to forget. No matter the level of pain. If you forget, how do you learn?


    • You can remember the lesson, without remembering who taught it to you, can you not?
      I understand that IN EXTREME CASES, it is difficult to forget who has harmed you. However, if it is something closer to home, with someone you want to continue to have a relationship with, “remembering” can lead to throwing it up in their face. Which actually happens far too often. Perhaps I should have been the distinction. Thank you for your input!!


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