I am not one to drudge up the past, unless I am still healing, and still need to vent the gases while I cure. For me, forgiveness is a process, not an instant ‘get out of jail free’ card. It takes time for me to digest and release, because part of my process is mining the gemstones out of all hellish experiences.
When someone hurts me deeply. It takes me a while to process the event. I need time to clear out the pain, and heal before I am really ready to let go of my feelings entirely. For me, forgiveness is about removing the emotional and/or traumatic debt off the books. It is a clean slate, the ultimate “do-over”. It is a chance to start fresh and move on without regret.
Forgiveness in my world means the injury or offense has been erased and eradicated, as if it never occurred to begin with. Which is why it takes me so long to get there. Unlike others who do not fundamentally understand the nature of true forgiveness, I actually seek to forget what has happened -thus liberating us both.
I understand that IN EXTREME CASES, it is difficult to forget who has harmed you. However, if it is something closer to home, with someone you want to continue to have a relationship with, “remembering” can lead to throwing it up in their face. Which actually happens far too often & demonstrates no forgiveness has truly occurred.
Sometimes I don’t bounce back as quickly as I would like to.
But I always bounce back…
That being said, I do not (nor can I) forgive anyone during an active attack. In order for me to begin the process of forgiving, I must distance myself from that which is causing me harm. I must disengage in order to restore, and relinquish the pain someones behavior is causing me. I call it banishing folks from my Kingdom. And I often do so without warning, or explanation. Like it or not, it is how I chose to regroup. Regardless of how it appears, it is never a retreat.
It is also worth noting, that those who injure me for sport, will eventually receive my forgiveness also. However, they will never again bask in my uniquely brilliant, and unforgettable Light~
How do you forgive? I would love to hear about your process too!