FEAR NOT, the Illuminati continually reminds.
I would like to remind you all that fear does not have to be crippling, it can be creative~
(The Scream by Edvard Munch 1893)
But I am caught in the grips of it, trying to complete my latest book.
I have been working on it for 2 years now, and have read it many times during the editing process. Each time I get close to publication, I run through it again. I remove, edit or add elements, all in an effort to stall the inevitable. I second guess, over-analyze and diminish the work I was once actually quite proud of.
Like the image above that has forever captured a moment in time, I am frozen with fear. I have been halted, and haunted by my own insecurities.
So much so, I willfully missed my own deadline while blaming outside influences for doing so. I am ashamed of being this scared. It is not a feeling I am used to or comfortable with.
I am afraid my efforts will be a colossal failure, as if the simple act of actually writing and publishing a book alone, could ever be.
I am afraid it will be ridiculed, and I will be openly mocked. I am afraid it will not sell. I am afraid I left too many commas in it. I am afraid that “real” authors will see me as nothing more than a middle-school wordsmith. I am afraid I will have to defend it to the masses, and minimize it to my Mom. I am afraid it just, plain, sux.
I am so freaking afraid!!
But I will do this thing, anyway! I will not allow fear to cripple my creation. I will see this project to completion. I will use my fear as fuel to finish it with finesse, and let the reader have the final word, damn it!
(P R I M A L S C R E A M)
“Every great work, every great accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement -Florence Scovel Shinn
A timely message from IAM this AM, reminds me that what I am experiencing is par for the course. Crazy given I wrote this a few days ago.
Unfortunately, I am at the failure and discouragement part of that quote, in more ways than with just this book.
But I’ll push through.
The remedy is in the reminder V: HOLD the VISION!!
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear” -George Addair