Mirror, Mirror~

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Coming face to face, with the mirror of my own behavior, is a colossal drag.  But I invite you guys to be brave enough, to look into the mirror of your own lives, here’s why & how.

This is about my own self reflection, particularly right after I became Victoryas over alcohol.
Like any major change we experience, it takes some time & effort, for the old patterns to be replaced by the new ones.
As bad as I think I might be at my drunken worse, it is extremely challenging, to deal with someone who exhibits similar flaws sober & magnified.
Especially when you KNOW you have put a great deal of effort into moving past that vibration stream.
The Light has a way of showing us ourselves, even if we are desperately trying to avoid looking at something.
The Light is relentless, when it is wanting to work a shadow out of me.
So I really don’t appreciate running into another reflection of my previous self, when I have worked so hard, to put the behaviors this person represents, behind me.
The New Agers are always saying, it is because I still need to work something out in that area of my life, but I am not convinced, that is the only reason.

I have had to look at myself much more objectively in the last decade, but even more so, in the last few years.
When I first began waking up. I was literally sick to my stomach, in the very early days. I was able to see myself clearly and I was not digging everything I saw.
In fact I saw many areas in my life, that would benefit from IMMEDIATE improvement, and I went right to work fixing these things.
But by far, the most disturbing thing I found within, was not old festering wounds, and the brokeness surrounding them…It was my own self talk.

I was absolutely shocked!

Where in the world, did that inner critic come from? And how can I make her go away?

I’ve never even spoke to others like that!! Even when I lost control over my anger! It was really kinda hateful. And I hate no one!!

No wonder I was wrestling with self loathing! I didn’t stand a chance, with that kind of destruction self talk, constantly telling me how much of a loser I was. I was ruthless and demanding of myself. An inner demonic perfectionist that hell bent on keeping me from becoming a better version of myself,  was very much alive and well inside me. And I had to take control of her!
Eventually, I realized that I could actually control this intrusive head noise. Whenever I caught myself talking smack about me, I replaced it with a positive statement and repeated it 10 times over, to cancel out the lies. I even lied to myself, when I had to. Even if I did not always believe, the opposite statement was true, but I surely wanted it to be. I still told myself something positive.
This had a quicker than expected, and remarkable impact on my thought life. Only rarely now, do I berate myself, and I am on the correction almost immediately.

It’s not easy task, to unravel decades of ingrained imperfection, but I was committed to doing it, not just for myself, but for humanitarian reasons.
I understood, if I got better, we ALL would. It should never be underestimated, what this accomplishes in the collective, when we individually raise our frequency by dumping old wounds and obsolete thinking. We truly must BE the change we want to see in the world. There really is no way to get around it. It is incumbent on each of us, to clean out our own temples. If we do, the whole town becomes cleaner.

I cannot fathom why, others won’t do the simplest of things, to reprogram their incredible minds, once they are aware they can.
I’ve concluded it is must because, we have largely not been encouraged to so, much less taught how. Thankfully, the ‘will to power’ and improvement is written on the soul. Many of us are into self reflection and improvement naturally.
If we chose to though, the brain stands willing and able to assist!
It’s a snap really, all you have to do, is pay attention to the dialog that goes on in your thought life.
It takes only about 28 days of focused effort, and you are well on you way from there.
Once we clean up the lies within, we must actively replace them with the truth, even if it is currently, a lie to us.
A lot of things organically come into alignment, by committing to this one awareness.

But back to dealing with those, who are still caught in the type of hell, you have worked your way out of. Why in the world, does the Universe provide a mirror?
Most will tell you, it is to show you yourself, “as is”.

However, I have learned, it also shows us how far we have have come! Sometimes, it is a progress report meant to inspire, not correct.

Not only is it an excellent way to more accurately judge our progress, it allows us “see” (up close & personal) how others have perceived us, when we did behave that way.

In my case, it makes me even more determined to keep growing away from the things that no longer serve, or do not flatter me~

 

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