Nasty Weather~

When it “rains”, allow it to cleanse you~ 797B5D3C-C6DF-4CE1-97C0-F87D0FD9FF37

The last two years have ripped me apart.  I have dealt with every imaginable loss and some of the worst things, repeatedly. Following a magical year of fabulous, I should add. The contrast was a drag. It made everything slightly darker, than it likely would have been, had the preceding year been well, average.

I lost four dragons, two longterm girlfriends, even longer term husband & a beloved job I was thriving in, when the position was eliminated. I even had to job hunt twice, in the first year of living on my own. A highly stressful thing, for someone starting “over” again.  Meanwhile, Bro got a pacemaker and was diagnosed with Downs related Alzheimers. Oh and mom had new stints & a pacemaker tweek too.

Yep. It was like that. Dreadful.

Nevermind, the grief & financial hardship that goes with all of these things.

So yeah. Hades. Nasty.

Comedic.

I have quite literally, gone through hell several times in 24 months. When I wasn’t directly in the flames, I was camped just outside and within reach. I have cried more tears during this season, than I have since my Dad died 15 years ago. How I kept showing up everyday for more, was often beyond me. Because I really did not feel like it. Whenever I thought I could absolutely take no more, to my surprise,   I would.

(Insert maniacal laugh here)

Thankfully, there is a Light that is ceaseless. It dawns anew every morning. Regardless if you can see it at night. I found the strength to keep going from inside me. It came from the Light within, that kept whispering…

”KEEP GOING ANYWAY”.

Ordinarily, I would have reached out for a round of professional advice for this kind of crazy. However, the thought occurred to me, the Feds might 5150 me, if I did.    So I used the time to hang black crepe on deeper issues too. I even coughed up a couple of ancient emotional hairballs. Basically because I was so thoroughly cracked open, I think everything I was trying to hold onto, flat out escaped! Even stuff I didn’t realize was still in there, was forced into the Light. It was horrific!

And healing~

Gratefully, the intervals & intensity of my custome designed hardships, have finally slowed pace for now. While I am still finding my footing on new territory. I marvel at the higher ground I have gained. I have so very much to be grateful for! I have passed through a wickedly steep learning curve, most would run from. Not only that, I managed to snatch up some sparkly treasures, as I climbed. I gots me some shiny new lessons that will come in handy, as I path UP.

Remember now -Hell has the best swag y’all!!

Even though I am still, just shy of level, I can clearly see the true beauty in the prolonged destructive forces of “nature”. Especially as they move into the valley, and away from me~

 

 

PS: Thx 🙏🏽 IAM

 

 

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24 comments

  1. you have been through a lot but i always look at hard times as experience,in what to say where to go and what to do.,i myself have been through parents who where always on drugs to sleeping in a different place every night but i took that as experience,as what i need to do right with my life and what path i should go down,just never let darkness fool you it’s merely an illusion!!!!love ya!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We nurture the nature. The best treasures a person can obtain her through hardships in hell. It’s all a matter of how you look at it George. Anyone can do it, anyone can get through the worst of the worst. I will go so far as to add, the more horrific the journey, the more accomplished the traveler.
    I share my life to illustrate that none of us are on scathed. We all face difficult challenges. Nobody’s life is worse or better, than another’s. Even though it might appear so, on the surface.
    We are absolutely all in this together. I really wish we would start acting like it. We seriously need to just Lighten UP, Lol

    Like

  3. Hey iVy,
    I’m so glad I follow your blog. You have had a great deal of hardship and you’ve done the best you could. Always with an indomitable spirit. It is a shame about people who claim to be in the light and then treat you with such disrespect. You’re still on top and integral to the enterprise, as far as I see it. Keep going, V.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Woow sister V your a very strong and willing Woman,I love you for your strength and bravery having….Your a great leader with living examples,i have learned from your life story and now truly I believe some of us are born to lead others and every life has a meaning and impact if strongly believed in the self 🔺

    Liked by 1 person

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