When I was young, I spent a good deal of my time, licking my wounds. The ones caused while growing up, and the ones caused by my own decisions. I was damn near fatally injured, but somehow I survived myself. I dare say no one around me, save for the truly empathetic, could tell I had been injured. I am totally like a cat, in that regard. On the outside, I likely appeared confident albeit, eccentric party gal. But inside, I was a bubbly mess of emotional infection.
I was blissed with ability to hide information from myself deeply, also. Only as I was able to handle the next level of my healing, were new things revealed about the source of my pain. And I clearly suffered from PTSD as a result of all the trauma. Which added a new layer of challenges, that would be revealed over time as well.
I periodically reached out for help, and I was fortunate to have had a couple really good therapists, that contributed to my restoration, but the bulk of my work was done in private. It would be many years before I stabilized into a form of understanding that started to serve me, rather than slice. I began to see a new strength emerging in me, as I took those first few cautious steps, back into myself. I was so busy licking my wounds, it never occurred to me the scar tissue I was not allowing to form, would be a shield and strength. I had not yet discovered, the treasures one can find, going through hell.
But time passed and I progressed. I never at any time, thought of myself as a victim. That mentality is a cop out, to me. Blaming others, even when guilty, ultimately leads to our own slow death. Of course there are times we must explain where we are coming from, so those around us can understand what we are going through, and why we are off our game. But to slap our victim card down on the table, whenever things do not go our way, or as an excuse for our inaction, we lose.
You see, what I learned over the years and I promise you is true, we all really are, fighting battles no one else sees. We all have been given a unique & challenging load to work through, as we journey towards realizing our full potential. If everyone played that card, our society would break down, oh wait…
I understand perfectly, that as children, we have zero to no control, in what the adults around us chose, but once we can race out the door, everything else is on us. How we process and project the experience, falls under our watch. The staggering amount of folks who prefer to play in their soiled emotional diapers, rather than change them, is alarming to me. There must be a missing link here, or most folks would heal more quickly. For me, that link is accountability.
Taking responsibility for ones own life, is part of the healing process. I own the decisions I personally made, that took me down some very dark roads. For example…I am pretty sure you can avoid date rape, by choosing not to go drinking in he woods with a boy you do not know very well.
If you want to get past anything, you can. But it takes some real soul searching, and most simply are unwilling to do the work. There are perks to victimhood, if you play your cards right, and it is vastly easier to do so, that being fully accountable for our lives.
So listen, because this is the truth. Those with the more difficult things to face, are actually in training for a higher calling, if they will just take the time to heal. So you can drop that deck you carry and step away from the table of victimhood at any time you chose. Holding onto it, is hindering your path to greatness. Do not let others deal your fate! You do not have to play anyone else’s game, but your own.
If you find yourself still licking your wounds years after your injury, something is wrong. You are likely suffering from delayed grief reaction and it is time to consider putting away the black crepe and moving forward, even if you can do nothing more than crawl. Licking wounds is normal, licking them infectious, is not. The booze and the booty will not continue to serve as distractions, in the long haul. They will end up adding to your burden. Plus you can do this! You were born to be victorious. Even if you do not believe this to be true yourself, tell this lie to yourself everyday. Tell yourself that you will rise and claim victory over the things that sought to burn you down. Recognize the refinement those purification flames bring and embrace the beauty that remains. These things are the jewels, that crown those who are victorious.
We all have been victimized in one way or another in our lives…But only we can decide to go from Victim to Victor~