Struggling through disappointment ~

 

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Disappointment is a built in part of our earth experience. It seems no matter how much we lower our expectations, we are bound to be disappointed by someone or something.
While all the best Guru’s will advise, to forgo expectation, it is simply not reasonable advice, for me personally.
Am I `to have no expectations, that the words of others, are congruent with their actions? Am I to have no expectation, that the traffic lights will perform as designed? Am I to have no expectation for the truth, when I ask you a question? That seems like a ridiculous assertion and it is not comforting to me, not even a little bit.

When I am disappointed, discouragement often accompanies her. The two seem to go hand in hand. One more crushing to my spirit, than the other.

Disappointment on her own, is not that difficult for me to manage. But when her evil twin comes riding up with her, the battle becomes exponentially more challenging. It is a struggle for me to keep bouncing back from the sadness and displeasure, of being constantly let down. So I knee jerk it and try not to have any expectations as suggested, but I am just not cool enough to pull that off.
I have feelings and denying them, seems counter-productive to their intended function. I do expect if you tell me something, you mean it. I do expect if we agree on something, there is follow through. I do expect, loyalty from those, who preach it to me. I do expect, that folks live by their own stated philosophy, to the best of their ability.

But alas…Disappointment thankfully passes quite quickly for me. Humans will be human. Myself included.
Unfortunately, I have gotten use to being let down. Which is a disappointment in and of itself. I simply do not engage as closely with others, as a way to prevent unnecessary grief in my life. Those I allow close to me, have no idea what an rarity it really is.

But it’s the lingering discouragement, that is the most difficult for me to kick. That one, is a strong armed bitch.

I find myself wondering why I am trying to be a good person and live with integrity, when it isn’t the norm. I can’t understand why I am compelled to be the best version of myself, when others seemingly have no awareness, of their own behavior. I feel like I am wasting my time and I should just throw down with the masses, and move like everyone else does. Why be set apart, when it doesn’t get you any further down the field, than the rest of the herd? This is where discouragement begins. In the simple observation, that the world is not user friendly for the likes of me. I feel a loss of confidence in myself, when I am always the odd man out. It robs my enthusiasm for interacting with others and cripples my own sense of self in the process. Talk about a buzz kill!

It is such a drag to live in a society, that value the things I do not. It is a monumental aggravation, to be exposed to so many people, who will readily lie to me, just to save face, or to avoid a difficult conversation. It makes it hard for me to discern, who I can trust my soul with. It reminds me, just how alone I really am, and how I am the only one I can truly count on. And while I hate revisiting these kinds of feelings, it is a chance for me to remind myself, just how set apart I really am. But in a good way. Maybe it can be a chance for you to remind yourself too?

It is so easy to think there is something wrong with us, when in fact, it is the masses who have got it wrong. Integrity, honesty and loyalty, are virtues that actually matter. I am just trying to figure out where the rest of us are, that feel this way. I want to have those guys around, the next time I feel disappointed. Then maybe they can chase off that dreaded discouragement, before she gets too close!

V~

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20 comments

  1. When one open the inner door to share the great things inside sometimes the disappointments slip in , but darkness can not ever blind the Light , it is the other way round .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry for what you are undergoing. I think we should be very open to those we lay our expectations to. Let them know what we expect from them just from the beginning, if they can deliver our expectations let it be known. If they cannot, lets lower our exceptions. In this way we shall avoid disappointments. Let there be a clear communication before we expect anything from anyone.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. often from great disappointments, from great trials that life almost always delivers, we can only find the right strength to react, to find the positive side in all things. every experience in life must always be taken as a teaching, light and in everything that life offers us it is enough to have the right vision to be able to transcend the right from the negative. our reaction will be the part of our potential that has been put to the test, reappears like the light of the new day.

    Thanks sister .
    Peppe Barretta
    Silendo77🔼

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sister v, if someone is going through affliction and problems,they are happening for a reason and before any great result a great exam and test should be subjected to that person. All I can say is that we should be strong and courageous and not give up because one day we shall find and follow the right. I am happy to learn from your message in which you stated that from disappointment follows discouragement ,anguish,displeasure and frustration.so even when we are going through disappointment remember that the above factors are inseparable.

    Like

  5. No need of worrying ,don’t feel dissapointed by those who will hate you. Just take it as a challenge which you must overcome. Yea dissapointments are unavoidable but when they have no negative impact on someone , they becomes a buster towards success. Just let them not make any negative impact on you

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Si, yo aveces me siento de esa forma. Aveces quisiera volver a las masas y olvidarme de todo, pero recuerdo que nada bueno hay es ese lugar, seria de mi parte muy infantil o quizas una estupidez de mi parte. Solo quiero seguir hacia adelante, que mi conocimiento, sabiduria y experiencia continuen inundando mi mente… Mi lelatd es intocablle.

    Liked by 2 people

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