I do not like feeling this way!
It seems like most of what I have tried to accomplish lately, has been so frantic & “fishy”, I simply cannot keep swimming.
I can’t seem to get anywhere. Worse yet. I am losing ground.
I am sliding down the side of my own life, defeated.
I feel like a complete failure.
It is one of the worst feelings ever for me, because it is paralyzingly. I feel frozen. Fear has set in, bringing the jackals of self doubt & criticism, to the outer shore of my existence.
In the background I hear an enlightened voice whispering, I will push through to calmer waters. But my emotions refuse to be reasoned with. They seeming have a mind of their own whether real or imagined. imagined. A true force to be reckoned with. Feelings are a bitch, I used to drown. And the rational side of me resents the riptides of emotional turmoil. But alas, this too shall pass.
The waves of chaos will subside and the sea will reveal her treasures, with crystal clarity.
I will stop hanging black crepe, and yes… dive back into deeper, calmer waters and, swim on~