I might have to climb out of this one at the deep end, dog paddle style. I don’t want to wade around in my sorrow, longer than I have to~
If there is one thing I dread. It’s grief. I wanna take it out to the backyard and bury it so deep, the inner earth folks have to deal with it.
When you finally realize, there is no avoiding that dark path to losing someone you love, your grief is cloaked in niceties. You don’t dare grieve out your advanced “knowing” around those still struggling to accept the inevitable. It’s how they say, not polite.
You’re suppose to stuff it down. Hold it back. Sloth it off. Take it outside. Hide it from your mom, the kids, your clients. It is not as acceptable to lose your mind, until the other shoe drops. The stinky one everyone else can smell when it does. Then it is OK to give your grief a proper burial. But hurry up. Don’t take too long, the neighbors are watching.
I am headed into the front winds. I am going to hang my head out into it & let this mother-fuker blow my face back with its intensity…Knowing it is a ride that won’t last. I am going to run & play fetch with this crap until I can swim safely to the pools edge.
Tomorrow I could be content to lay beside the fire in comfort, knowing sleep always makes me feel better too.