Oh Facebook…You have a waaay better memory than me! This is why you are both dangerous & delightful~
Today is Jan. 2nd 2017.
“2016 has ended in tears as well. It has been one of the most challenging & tear filled years since my dad died . Perhaps FB can correct me on that, Lol But… right now I feel pretty hopeful!”
Well, I am having my 1st meltdown of 2015!
Probably just a good cleansing & clearing of stagnant 2014 energies. Because once I started crying, tons of tears flowed out that were clearly bottled up for awhile. You can tell because your face stings when it has been awhile. I am not one to share my deepest with even those in my inner circle, and because of that… I think most might think I am able to get along quite nicely without their support.
Truth is. I am hurting right now. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I AM working towards releasing what is not mine to bear.
I’m AM having a super bad crisis within, because I simply don’t match up compared with the rest, of the world. I am not so sure my life has truly mattered, certainly not on the scale I hoped for…which in turn, leaves me feeling like a useless eater. Rinse, repeat.
Everyone on FB puts their best face forward; myself included. However this leaves me more isolated than before, thinking I might be the only one struggling to find peace in a world, that does not yet value the likes of me.
I am not pedigreed or degreed in a way that means anything to most. I really have nothing to brag about. Other than I continue to triumph over things, that should have buried me. and I even wrestle with that. Mine is a lonely road that I gratefully travel on most days. But sometimes, the one who has strengthened you, needs support as well.
For those of you suffering in silence from the inner things the rest of us can’t see…
I vow to be more transparent this year & quit the bullshit “marketing” in order to protect my “brand”. In this way, maybe we can go deeper, LOVE harder & emerge victorious together.
This year is beating me up hard! I can’t even really talk about it yet. I am trying to find the words…