It is among the worst feelings in the world for me; grief. It washes over me against my will and renders me childlike instantly.
I don’t do grief all that well. Mostly, I just like to drink my way through it, but in recent years, that is not an option. So I stock pile little grievances without much fanfare, hoping to avert a day like today. One in which I “hang black crepe”, in celebration of the little loses that have added up.
The catalyst is a dying dragon Jym, whom I committed to stay with, as he worked his process towards the Light.
I have been crying for hours and I am exhausted. I am rehashing every failed move to be perfectly present to a friend, who I will not see for an indeterminable amount of time.
With his passing, comes the regrets for missteps taken to his entire clan. Tiny things, that have haunted me from a pile of unresolved feelings. I can see clearly now, where I lack. And I vow to resolve this within, immediately.
Grief has a unique way of calling us into accountability. It is the silver lining that propels us to be better, do better, by those who still remain with us.
Please…Do not resist her~